IS #170 — Mastering the Pause: '그게... 있잖아요'
How to use natural hesitation phrases to sound fluent and thoughtful — not uncertain.
Iru Helper Note
In Korean conversation, brief hesitations signal that you're choosing your words carefully — a sign of thoughtfulness, not weakness. Phrases like 그게... and 있잖아요 are what native speakers actually say while they gather their thoughts.
있잖아요, 저 요즘 좀 힘들거든요.
(You know, I've been having a tough time lately.)
⏸️ What You'll Learn Today
Fluent speakers don't rush from one sentence to the next — they pause, they hedge, they ease into what they want to say. Today you'll learn the natural hesitation and softening phrases Korean speakers use every day: phrases like 있잖아요, 그게..., 음..., and 어떻게 말하지. These aren't filler words to avoid — they're tools that make you sound more natural and native-like.
📌 Natural Hesitation and Softening Phrases
Expression | Meaning | Notes |
있잖아요 | You know / Hey, listen | Used to ease into a topic, often at sentence start |
그게... | Well... / The thing is... | Buys time while gathering thoughts |
음... | Um... / Hmm... | Universal thinking sound |
어... | Uh... | Shorter pause sound |
어떻게 말하지 | How do I put it... | Used when searching for the right word |
뭐랄까 | How should I put it / Kind of like... | Softens or approximates meaning |
그러니까 | So... / I mean... | Clarifying or restating |
아, 그게... | Oh, well... / Oh, the thing is... | Mild surprise + explanation incoming |
사실은요 | Actually... / To be honest... | Softens a confession or honest admission |
솔직히 말하면 | To be honest | More direct honesty signal |
제 말은... | What I mean is... | Clarifying a previous statement |
잠깐만요 | Just a moment / Hold on | Buys time in real time |
💡 Key pattern: 있잖아요 + topic opener is the most natural way to introduce something you want to talk about. Think of it as "Hey, so..." in English.
💬 Conversations in Action
Dialogue 1 — Bringing up something personal
A: 요즘 어때요? (How have you been lately?)
B: 있잖아요... 사실은요, 요즘 좀 힘들거든요. 그게... 어떻게 말하지... 일이 너무 많아서요. (You know... actually, I've been having a tough time lately. The thing is... how do I put it... I just have too much work.)
A: 아, 그랬군요. 많이 힘드셨겠다. (Oh, I see. That must have been hard.)
B: 네. 뭐랄까, 쉬고 싶은데 못 쉬는 느낌이에요. (Yeah. Kind of like, I want to rest but I can't.)
Dialogue 2 — Explaining something vague
A: 왜 그 사람이 싫어요? (Why don't you like that person?)
B: 그게... 잘 모르겠어요. 뭐랄까... 그냥 좀 불편한 느낌? (The thing is... I'm not sure. Kind of like... it just feels a bit uncomfortable?)
A: 아, 그러니까 딱 설명하기 어려운 거죠? (Oh, so it's hard to explain clearly, right?)
B: 맞아요. 그게 그거예요. (Exactly. That's it.)
🌏 Cultural Note — Thoughtful Pausing in Korean
In Korean conversation, pausing before answering — especially for personal or emotional topics — is a sign of sincerity. Rushing to fill every silence can feel insincere. Using 있잖아요 or 그게... before a personal topic signals that what's coming matters. Embrace the pause — it's part of the language.
Answer
<summary>Try This Speaking Exercise
Practice using hesitation and softening phrases naturally.
A. Open a conversation about something on your mind using 있잖아요.
있잖아요, 사실 요즘 좀 걱정되는 게 있어요.
(You know, I actually have something I've been a bit worried about lately.)
B. Buy time while thinking of the right word using 그게...
Answer
그게... 어떻게 말하지... 좀 복잡한 상황이에요.
(The thing is... how do I put it... it's a somewhat complicated situation.)
C. Use 뭐랄까 to approximate a feeling you can't quite name.
Answer
뭐랄까... 그냥 좀 허전한 느낌이에요.
(Kind of like... it just feels a bit empty.)
D. Use 사실은요 to gently admit something honest.
Answer
사실은요, 저 그 영화 별로 안 좋아해요.
(To be honest, I don't really like that movie.)
E. Use 그러니까 to restate something more clearly.
Answer
그러니까, 제가 하고 싶은 말은, 좀 더 시간이 필요하다는 거예요.
(So, what I'm trying to say is, I need a bit more time.)
F. Use 어떻게 말하지 when you're searching for the right expression.
Answer
어떻게 말하지... 그냥 좀 이상한 느낌이었어요.
(How do I put it... it just felt a bit odd.)
G. Use 제 말은... to clarify what you just said.
Answer
제 말은... 싫다는 게 아니라, 그냥 좀 더 생각해 보고 싶다는 거예요.
(What I mean is... it's not that I dislike it, I just want to think about it a bit more.)
H. Use 잠깐만요 to buy time in a real conversation.
Answer
잠깐만요... 생각 좀 해볼게요.
(Just a moment... let me think.)
I. Combine 있잖아요 + 그게... in one natural opener.
Answer
있잖아요, 그게... 말하기 좀 어렵긴 한데요.
(You know, the thing is... it's a bit hard to say.)
J. Use 솔직히 말하면 to deliver an honest opinion.
Answer
솔직히 말하면, 그 방법은 별로 좋지 않은 것 같아요.
(To be honest, I don't think that approach is very good.)
Expression Reference
Expression | Signal |
있잖아요 | Topic opener |
그게... | Thinking pause |
뭐랄까 | Approximating |
사실은요 | Honest admission |
그러니까 | Clarifying restate |
어떻게 말하지 | Word-searching |
제 말은... | Clarifying prior statement |
잠깐만요 | Real-time pause |
솔직히 말하면 | Direct honesty |
음... / 어... | Universal thinking sounds |
Fluency Tip
있잖아요 is the single most natural conversation opener in Korean. If you're not sure how to start a topic, lead with 있잖아요 — it signals "I have something to say" and gives you a moment to collect your thought.
</summary>
Want more reps?
In your next Korean conversation (or practice session), try starting at least two sentences with 있잖아요 or 그게... and let yourself pause naturally before continuing. Fluency often sounds like hesitation done right.
📦 Practice Hub — natural hesitation and softening
Exercise 1 — Choose the Right Expression
Pick the most natural hesitation or softening phrase for each situation.
A. You want to ease into a sensitive topic with a friend:
- 그러니까
- 있잖아요
- 솔직히 말하면
Answer
2 — 있잖아요 is the warmest, most natural opener for a personal topic.
B. You can't find the right word and need a moment:
- 제 말은...
- 어떻게 말하지
- 사실은요
Answer
2 — 어떻게 말하지 signals you're searching for the right expression.
C. You want to clarify what you just said:
- 그러니까
- 뭐랄까
- 잠깐만요
Answer
1 — 그러니까 is the natural clarifying / restating connector.
D. You want to describe a vague feeling you can't fully name:
- 그게...
- 뭐랄까
- 있잖아요
Answer
2 — 뭐랄까 is used when you're approximating or softening a feeling.
E. You need to buy real time mid-conversation:
- 잠깐만요
- 사실은요
- 그게...
Answer
1 — 잠깐만요 is the natural real-time pause signal.
F. You're about to say something honest that might be surprising:
- 있잖아요
- 사실은요
- 어떻게 말하지
Answer
2 — 사실은요 softens an honest admission naturally.
G. You want to clarify a misunderstanding about what you said:
- 제 말은...
- 그게...
- 음...
Answer
1 — 제 말은... signals you're clarifying your original meaning.
H. You're thinking out loud and need a gentle pause sound:
- 잠깐만요
- 음...
- 사실은요
Answer
2 — 음... is the most natural neutral thinking sound.
I. Someone asks a hard question and you need to gather your thoughts first:
- 그게...
- 솔직히 말하면
- 있잖아요
Answer
1 — 그게... buys you a moment while signaling that an explanation is coming.
J. You want to deliver a direct honest opinion:
- 뭐랄까
- 솔직히 말하면
- 제 말은...
Answer
2 — 솔직히 말하면 is the most direct honesty signal.
Quick Reference
Situation | Phrase |
Topic opener | 있잖아요 |
Word-searching | 어떻게 말하지 |
Clarify / restate | 그러니까 |
Approximate feeling | 뭐랄까 |
Real-time pause | 잠깐만요 |
Honest admission | 사실은요 |
Clarify prior statement | 제 말은... |
Thinking sound | 음... |
Gathering thoughts | 그게... |
Direct honesty | 솔직히 말하면 |
Pitfall: Overusing Silence
Hesitation phrases work because they signal active thinking. Silence without a phrase can feel awkward in Korean conversation. If you need time, say 음... or 그게... rather than staying completely silent — it keeps the conversational flow alive.
Exercise 2 — Korean → English Translation
Translate each naturally, capturing the hesitation tone.
A. 있잖아요, 사실 저 요즘 고민이 좀 있어요.
Answer
You know, I actually have something on my mind lately.
B. 그게... 어떻게 말하지... 좀 복잡한 상황이에요.
Answer
The thing is... how do I put it... it's a complicated situation.
C. 뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 허전한 느낌이에요.
Answer
Kind of like... it just feels a bit empty.
D. 사실은요, 저 그 제안 별로 좋지 않은 것 같아요.
Answer
To be honest, I don't think that proposal is very good.
E. 그러니까, 제가 하고 싶은 말은 좀 더 시간이 필요하다는 거예요.
Answer
So, what I'm trying to say is that I need a bit more time.
F. 제 말은... 싫다는 게 아니라, 그냥 좀 생각해 보고 싶다는 거예요.
Answer
What I mean is... it's not that I dislike it, I just want to think about it.
G. 잠깐만요, 생각 좀 해볼게요.
Answer
Just a moment, let me think.
H. 솔직히 말하면, 그 방법은 별로인 것 같아요.
Answer
To be honest, I don't think that approach is great.
I. 있잖아요, 그게... 말하기가 좀 어렵긴 한데요.
Answer
You know, the thing is... it's a bit hard to say.
J. 음... 어떻게 말하지... 그냥 좀 이상한 느낌이었어요.
Answer
Hmm... how do I put it... it just felt a bit strange.
Vocabulary Cheat Sheet
Korean | English |
고민 | worry / concern / thing on your mind |
허전하다 | to feel empty / hollow |
복잡하다 | to be complicated |
제안 | proposal / suggestion |
이상하다 | to be strange / odd |
별로 | not great / not really |
느낌 | feeling / sense |
어렵긴 한데 | it is hard, but... |
Grammar Tip
-긴 한데 is a softening pattern: 어렵긴 한데요 = "It is hard, but..." The -긴 acknowledges the truth of something before adding a qualifier. You'll hear this pattern often when someone wants to be honest without being blunt.
Exercise 3 — Complete the Sentence
Fill in the blank with the right hesitation or softening phrase.
A. __, 사실 할 말이 있어요.
(__, I actually have something to say.)
Answer
있잖아요
B. __ 어떻게 말하지... 그냥 좀 불편해요.
(__ how do I put it... it's just a bit uncomfortable.)
Answer
그게...
C. __, 그냥 좀 허전한 느낌이에요.
(Kind of like, it just feels a bit empty.)
Answer
뭐랄까
D. __, 저 그 계획 좀 걱정돼요.
(To be honest, I'm a bit worried about that plan.)
Answer
사실은요
E. __, 제가 하고 싶은 말은 그게 아니에요.
(So, that's not what I'm trying to say.)
Answer
그러니까
F. __... 좀 어렵긴 한데요.
(Just a moment... it's a bit hard.)
Answer
잠깐만요
G. __ 말하면, 그 의견엔 동의하기 어려워요.
(To be honest, it's hard to agree with that opinion.)
Answer
솔직히
H. __... 그러니까 싫다는 게 아니에요.
(What I mean is... I'm not saying I dislike it.)
Answer
제 말은
I. __, 그게... 좀 복잡한 상황이라서요.
(You know, the thing is... it's a complicated situation.)
Answer
있잖아요
J. __ 어떻게 말하지... 좀 이상한 느낌이었어요.
(Hmm... how do I put it... it felt a bit strange.)
Answer
음...
Sentence Starters
Starter | Role |
있잖아요 | Warm topic opener |
그게... | Thinking pause / explanation incoming |
뭐랄까 | Approximating a feeling |
사실은요 | Softened honest admission |
그러니까 | Restating or clarifying |
잠깐만요 | Real-time pause |
솔직히 말하면 | Direct honesty |
제 말은... | Clarifying prior statement |
음... | Thinking sound |
Production Tip
These phrases are most powerful when combined: 있잖아요, 그게... 뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 힘든 것 같아요. (You know, the thing is... kind of like, I think I'm just having a hard time.) Stacking two or three creates a very natural-sounding build-up.
Exercise 4 — Dialogue Completion
Complete each exchange using a natural hesitation or softening phrase.
A.
A: 무슨 일 있어요?
B: __, 사실 요즘 좀 힘들어요.
Answer
있잖아요 — 있잖아요, 사실 요즘 좀 힘들어요.
(You know, I've actually been having a hard time lately.)
B.
A: 그 사람 어때요?
B: 그게... __ 좀 불편한 느낌이에요.
Answer
뭐랄까, 그냥 — 뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 불편한 느낌이에요.
(Kind of like, it just feels a bit uncomfortable.)
C.
A: 그 제안 어떻게 생각해요?
B: __, 저는 좀 다르게 생각해요.
Answer
솔직히 말하면 — 솔직히 말하면, 저는 좀 다르게 생각해요.
(To be honest, I think about it a bit differently.)
D.
A: 아까 뭐라고 했어요?
B: __ 제가 하고 싶은 말은 그게 아니에요.
Answer
그러니까, — 그러니까, 제가 하고 싶은 말은 그게 아니에요.
(So, that's not what I was trying to say.)
E.
A: 지금 바로 결정해야 해요?
B: __ 좀 생각해볼게요.
Answer
잠깐만요, — 잠깐만요, 좀 생각해볼게요.
(Just a moment, let me think about it.)
F.
A: 왜 그랬어요?
B: __ 어떻게 말하지... 좀 복잡해요.
Answer
그게, — 그게, 어떻게 말하지... 좀 복잡해요.
(The thing is, how do I put it... it's complicated.)
G.
A: 그 말 무슨 뜻이에요?
B: __ 싫다는 게 아니라, 좀 더 생각하고 싶다는 거예요.
Answer
제 말은, — 제 말은, 싫다는 게 아니라, 좀 더 생각하고 싶다는 거예요.
(What I mean is, it's not that I dislike it, I just want to think about it more.)
H.
A: 기분이 어때요?
B: __ 허전한 느낌이에요.
Answer
뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 — 뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 허전한 느낌이에요.
(Kind of like, it just feels a bit empty.)
I.
A: 좋아요, 나빠요?
B: __, 사실 별로예요.
Answer
사실은요 — 사실은요, 별로예요.
(To be honest, it's not great.)
J.
A: 어떻게 설명하면 돼요?
B: __ 어떻게 말하지... 그냥 이렇게 생각해 보세요.
Answer
음, — 음, 어떻게 말하지... 그냥 이렇게 생각해 보세요.
(Hmm, how do I put it... just think of it this way.)
Useful Phrases
Phrase | Use |
좀 복잡해요 | "It's a bit complicated" |
좀 불편한 느낌이에요 | "It feels a bit uncomfortable" |
좀 다르게 생각해요 | "I think about it differently" |
그게 아니에요 | "That's not it" |
좀 생각해볼게요 | "I'll think about it a bit" |
허전한 느낌이에요 | "It feels empty" |
별로예요 | "It's not great" |
Conversation Tip
When you're not sure how to respond, 그게... 어떻게 말하지 buys you time without sounding like you're ignoring the question. It tells the other person "I heard you, I'm thinking." This is far more natural than silence or rushing to fill the gap.
Exercise 5 — Free Speaking Practice
Respond to each situation using today's hesitation phrases. Aim for 2–4 sentences.
A. Ease into telling a friend you've been stressed lately.
Sample Answer
있잖아요, 사실 요즘 좀 힘들어요. 그게... 일이 너무 많아서요.
B. Describe a feeling you can't quite name.
Sample Answer
뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 허전한 느낌이에요. 어떻게 말하지... 딱 설명하기가 어렵네요.
C. Give an honest opinion about a plan you're not sure about.
Sample Answer
사실은요, 그 계획이 좀 걱정돼요. 솔직히 말하면, 좀 더 준비가 필요한 것 같아요.
D. Buy time when someone asks you a hard question.
Sample Answer
잠깐만요... 그게... 어떻게 말하지... 좀 복잡한 상황이에요.
E. Clarify something you said that was misunderstood.
Sample Answer
제 말은... 싫다는 게 아니라요, 그러니까, 좀 더 시간이 필요하다는 거예요.
F. Stack two or three hesitation phrases naturally in one thought.
Sample Answer
있잖아요, 그게... 뭐랄까, 그냥 좀 이상한 느낌이에요.
G. Use 있잖아요 to open a conversation about something positive.
Sample Answer
있잖아요, 오늘 정말 좋은 일이 있었어요. 말해도 될까요?
H. Use 그러니까 to restate what you're trying to say.
Sample Answer
그러니까, 제가 하고 싶은 말은... 조금 더 여유가 있으면 좋겠다는 거예요.
I. Use 어떻게 말하지 when describing something unusual.
Sample Answer
어떻게 말하지... 그냥 좀 특이한 경험이었어요. 설명하기 쉽지 않아요.
J. Use 음... and 그게... together to respond to an unexpected question.
Sample Answer
음... 그게... 생각해 본 적이 없었는데요. 좀 생각해볼게요.
Sentence Starters
Starter | Use When |
있잖아요 | Opening a topic warmly |
그게... | Buying time / gathering thoughts |
뭐랄까 | Approximating a feeling |
사실은요 | Honest admission |
잠깐만요 | Real-time pause |
그러니까 | Restating or clarifying |
제 말은... | Correcting a misunderstanding |
음... | Thinking out loud |
어떻게 말하지 | Searching for the right word |
솔직히 말하면 | Direct honesty |
Speaking Challenge
Have a 1-minute Korean conversation with yourself (or a partner) about your week. Rule: you must use at least 4 different hesitation phrases from today's lesson naturally — not forced. Record yourself, then listen: do the hesitations sound natural or rehearsed?
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