Asking for Advice on Personal Matters

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Asking for Advice on Personal Matters

Knowing how to share a 고민 (personal worry) and ask for guidance is one of the most relationship-building things you can do in Korean.

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Iru Helper Note

In Korean culture, sharing a 고민 (gomin — a personal concern, dilemma, or worry) with someone shows trust. Knowing how to open that conversation naturally is just as important as knowing how to respond to one. Today you'll learn how to ask for advice in ways that feel warm, genuine, and culturally appropriate.

고민이 있는데... 잠깐 얘기해도 될까요?

(I have something on my mind... would it be okay to talk for a moment?)

🤔 What You'll Learn Today

Asking for advice in Korean isn't just about getting answers — it's about opening the conversation in a way that feels natural and inviting. Today you'll learn five expressions that let you share a worry, ask for someone's honest view, or invite their guidance. Each expression has a different level of openness and formality, so you'll know which to use in different situations.

📌 Five Ways to Ask for Advice

Expression	Literal Meaning	When to Use
고민이 있는데...	I have something on my mind...	Opening a personal advice conversation
어떻게 하면 좋을까요?	What would be best to do?	Directly asking for guidance
솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?	Honestly, what do you think?	Asking for a candid opinion
어떻게 할지 모르겠어요	I don't know what to do	Expressing genuine uncertainty and opening up
한번 들어봐도 될까요?	Could I have you hear me out once?	Gently asking if this is a good moment to talk

💡 Opening moves: In Korean, it's common to signal that you want to share something before sharing it directly. 고민이 있는데... is a soft opening that invites the other person to lean in. Follow it with the situation, then -는 게 어때요? or 어떻게 하면 좋을까요? to ask for their input.

Useful vocab for sharing a 고민:

고민 = personal worry, dilemma, something on your mind

고민이 있다 = to have something on your mind

고민을 털어놓다 = to open up and share a worry

상담하다 = to consult / to seek advice

들어주다 = to listen (for someone)

💬 Conversations in Action

Mini-Dialogue 1 — With a close friend

A: 있잖아, 나 요즘 고민이 있는데... 얘기해도 될까?

B: 물론이지! 무슨 일이야?

A: 요즘 직장을 바꿀지 말지 모르겠어서... 솔직히 어떻게 생각해?

(A: Hey, I've had something on my mind lately... is it okay if I talk about it?

B: Of course! What's going on?

A: I'm not sure whether to change jobs or not... honestly, what do you think?)

Mini-Dialogue 2 — With a trusted colleague

A: 잠깐 시간 있으세요? 한번 들어봐도 될까요?

B: 네, 물론이죠. 무슨 일이에요?

A: 프로젝트 방향에 대해서 어떻게 하면 좋을지 모르겠어서요.

(A: Do you have a moment? Could I ask you something?

B: Yes, of course. What is it?

A: I'm not sure what would be best to do about the project direction.)

🌏 Cultural Note — 고민 상담 Culture in Korea

고민 상담 (advice-seeking) is a deeply embedded part of Korean social culture. You'll find it in:

고민 상담 TV shows and radio programs where people call in with personal worries

고민 상담 cafés and apps where strangers give advice

The strong friendship culture of unni/언니, 오빠/oppa — older friends often act as 상담가 (counselors)

Key cultural norms:

It's common to say 얘기 좀 해도 될까? (Can we talk a bit?) before diving in

The listener typically responds with 물론이죠! / 당연하죠! (Of course!) to invite the sharing

Ending with 고마워요 / 들어줘서 고마워 (thanks for listening) shows appreciation

<summary>Try This Speaking Exercise

For each situation, use an expression from this lesson to open the advice conversation.

A. You want to ask your close friend whether you should accept a job offer in another city.

<summary>Answer

고민이 있는데... 잠깐 얘기해도 될까요?

다른 도시의 취업 제안을 받아들여야 할지 모르겠어요.

(I have something on my mind... would it be okay to talk for a bit? I'm not sure whether to accept a job offer in another city.)

</summary>

B. You want to know your friend's honest opinion about a decision you're making.

<summary>Answer

솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?

(Honestly, what do you think?)

</summary>

C. You feel lost about what to do next in your career.

<summary>Answer

진로에 대해서 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

(I don't know what to do about my career path.)

</summary>

D. You want to consult a trusted senior colleague. You first check if this is a good time.

<summary>Answer

한번 들어봐도 될까요? 요즘 고민이 있어서요.

(Could I have you hear me out once? I've had something on my mind lately.)

</summary>

E. You're unsure whether to apologize to a friend or wait for them to reach out first.

<summary>Answer

어떻게 하면 좋을까요? 친구에게 먼저 연락해야 할지 모르겠어요.

(What would be best to do? I'm not sure whether I should reach out to my friend first.)

</summary>

F. You want to open up to a friend about feeling stuck in your daily routine.

<summary>Answer

고민이 있는데... 요즘 일상이 너무 지루해서 뭔가 바꾸고 싶어요.

(I have something on my mind... my daily routine has been so boring lately and I want to change something.)

</summary>

G. You want your friend's honest take on whether your Korean is improving.

<summary>Answer

솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제 한국어 실력이 늘고 있는 것 같아요?

(Honestly, what do you think? Does it seem like my Korean is improving?)

</summary>

H. You're unsure whether to move to a new apartment or stay where you are.

<summary>Answer

어떻게 하면 좋을까요? 이사를 해야 할지 그냥 있어야 할지 모르겠어요.

(What would be best? I don't know whether I should move or stay where I am.)

</summary>

I. You feel overwhelmed but haven't talked to anyone about it. You open up to a close friend.

<summary>Answer

고민이 있는데... 요즘 많이 지쳐서 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

(I have something on my mind... I've been really exhausted lately and don't know what to do.)

</summary>

J. You want to ask a colleague for their advice on a work situation.

<summary>Answer

한번 들어봐도 될까요? 업무 관련해서 어떻게 하면 좋을지 물어보고 싶었어요.

(Could I ask you something? I've been wanting to ask for your advice on a work situation.)

</summary>

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Expression Reference

Expression	Openness Level
고민이 있는데...	Soft, personal opening
어떻게 하면 좋을까요?	Direct, asking for guidance
솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?	Inviting honesty
어떻게 할지 모르겠어요	Sharing uncertainty
한번 들어봐도 될까요?	Checking in before opening up

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Opening Tip

In Korean, 있잖아... (you know... / hey...) before 고민이 있는데 makes it sound even more natural and casual with close friends. With colleagues or seniors, skip 있잖아 and use 잠깐 시간 있으세요? (Do you have a moment?) first.

</summary>

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Want more reps?

Asking for advice naturally takes as much practice as giving it. The Practice Hub below has five exercises using all five expressions across a range of real-life situations.

📦 Practice Hub — Asking for Advice

Exercise 1 — Choose the Right Expression

Choose the most natural way to open an advice conversation in each situation.

A. You want to share a personal worry with a close friend but aren't sure how to start. Best opening?

a) 고민이 있는데... 얘기해도 될까?

b) 도와줘!

c) 나 이제 갈게.

<summary>Answer

a) 고민이 있는데... 얘기해도 될까?

(I have something on my mind... is it okay if I talk about it?)

고민이 있는데... is the natural soft opening for a personal advice conversation.

B. You want a colleague's direct guidance on a work decision. Which is most natural?

a) 어떻게 하면 좋을까요?

b) 저 몰라요.

c) 당신이 결정하세요.

<summary>Answer

a) 어떻게 하면 좋을까요?

(What would be best to do?)

This directly invites guidance in a polite, natural way.

C. You want your friend's honest take on your decision. Most natural?

a) 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?

b) 뭐라고요?

c) 잘 됐어요.

<summary>Answer

a) 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?

(Honestly, what do you think?)

Adding 솔직히 (honestly) signals that you want a real, candid response.

D. You feel completely lost about a life decision. How do you express this and invite help?

a) 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

b) 아무 말 안 할게요.

c) 괜찮아요.

<summary>Answer

a) 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

(I don't know what to do.)

This is an honest expression of uncertainty that naturally invites the other person to help.

E. You want to open up to a senior colleague but first check if they have time.

a) 지금 바빠요?

b) 한번 들어봐도 될까요?

c) 퇴근하세요?

<summary>Answer

b) 한번 들어봐도 될까요?

(Could I have you hear me out once?)

This politely checks that the other person is available and open to listening.

F. A friend says they're going through something difficult. You invite them to share.

a) 나중에 얘기해요.

b) 고민이 있으면 얘기해도 돼요.

c) 그냥 괜찮아요.

<summary>Answer

b) 고민이 있으면 얘기해도 돼요.

(If you have something on your mind, it's okay to talk about it.)

This is the receiving-side version — inviting someone else to share their 고민.

G. You've been holding something in for a while. You finally open up to a friend.

a) 고민이 있는데... 오래 혼자 생각하고 있었어요.

b) 아무것도 없어요.

c) 잘 지냈어요.

<summary>Answer

a) 고민이 있는데... 오래 혼자 생각하고 있었어요.

(I have something on my mind... I've been thinking about it alone for a long time.)

H. You want your friend's honest take on whether you should apologize first.

a) 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제가 먼저 사과해야 할까요?

b) 제가 맞아요.

c) 사과 안 할 거예요.

<summary>Answer

a) 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제가 먼저 사과해야 할까요?

(Honestly, what do you think? Should I apologize first?)

I. You're struggling with a major life decision and feel stuck.

a) 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요. 의견을 들을 수 있을까요?

b) 이미 결정했어요.

c) 신경 쓰지 마세요.

<summary>Answer

a) 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요. 의견을 들을 수 있을까요?

(I don't know what to do. Could I hear your opinion?)

J. You want to ask a mentor for guidance but are unsure if this is the right moment.

a) 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 진로에 대해 여쭤보고 싶었어요.

b) 저 먼저 갈게요.

c) 지금 바빠요?

<summary>Answer

a) 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 진로에 대해 여쭤보고 싶었어요.

(Could I ask you something? I've been wanting to ask about my career path.)

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Quick Reference

Expression	Situation
고민이 있는데...	Starting a personal conversation
어떻게 하면 좋을까요?	Asking for direct guidance
솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?	Asking for a candid opinion
어떻게 할지 모르겠어요	Expressing uncertainty
한번 들어봐도 될까요?	Checking if it's okay to share

⚠️

Common Mistake

Jumping straight into your problem without any opening can feel abrupt. Start with 고민이 있는데... or 한번 들어봐도 될까요? to signal that you need a moment and to invite the other person to be present. This small step makes the whole conversation flow better.

Exercise 2 — Korean → English Translation

Translate each sentence into natural English.

A. 고민이 있는데... 잠깐 얘기해도 될까요?

<summary>Answer

I have something on my mind... would it be okay to talk for a bit?

B. 어떻게 하면 좋을까요? 정말 모르겠어요.

<summary>Answer

What would be best to do? I really don't know.

C. 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제가 잘하고 있는 건지 모르겠어요.

<summary>Answer

Honestly, what do you think? I'm not sure if I'm doing well.

D. 요즘 어떻게 할지 모르겠어서 힘들어요.

<summary>Answer

Lately I've been having a hard time because I don't know what to do.

E. 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 진로에 대해 여쭤보고 싶었어요.

<summary>Answer

Could I ask you something? I've been wanting to ask about my career path.

F. 고민이 있는데요, 친구 관계가 좀 어려워서요.

<summary>Answer

I have something on my mind — a friendship has been a bit difficult.

G. 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 이직을 해야 할까요?

<summary>Answer

Honestly, what do you think? Should I change jobs?

H. 어떻게 할지 몰라서 의견을 듣고 싶었어요.

<summary>Answer

I wasn't sure what to do, so I wanted to hear your opinion.

I. 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 지금 많이 힘들어서요.

<summary>Answer

Could I talk to you for a moment? I'm having a really hard time right now.

J. 고민이 있는데... 오래 혼자 생각하고 있었어요.

<summary>Answer

I have something on my mind... I've been thinking about it alone for a long time.

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Vocabulary Cheat Sheet

Korean	English
고민	personal worry, dilemma
진로	career path
이직	job change
의견	opinion
친구 관계	friendship
여쭤보다	to ask (honorific)
털어놓다	to open up, to share
혼자 생각하다	to think about alone

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Grammar Tip

어떻게 할지 모르겠어요 uses the indirect question pattern -ㄹ/을지 (whether/how to...). This pattern is very useful: 어디 갈지 모르겠어요 (I don't know where to go), 뭘 먹을지 모르겠어요 (I don't know what to eat). Master this and you can express uncertainty about any situation.

Exercise 3 — Complete the Sentence

Fill in the blank to complete each expression.

A. __ 이 있는데... 잠깐 얘기해도 될까요? (I have something on my mind...)

<summary>Answer

고민

→ 고민이 있는데... 잠깐 얘기해도 될까요?

B. 어떻게 하면 __ 까요? 정말 모르겠어요. (What would be best to do?)

<summary>Answer

좋을

→ 어떻게 하면 좋을까요?

C. 솔직히 __ 생각해요? (Honestly, what do you think?)

<summary>Answer

어떻게

→ 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?

D. 어떻게 __ 모르겠어요. 도와주실 수 있어요? (I don't know what to do.)

<summary>Answer

할지

→ 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

E. 한번 __ 봐도 될까요? 고민이 있어서요. (Could I have you hear me out?)

<summary>Answer

들어

→ 한번 들어봐도 될까요?

F. 고민이 있는데... __ 관계가 좀 어려워서요. (a friendship has been difficult)

<summary>Answer

친구

→ 친구 관계가 좀 어려워서요.

G. 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? __ 을 해야 할까요? (Should I change jobs?)

<summary>Answer

이직

→ 이직을 해야 할까요?

H. 어떻게 할지 __ 서 의견을 듣고 싶었어요. (I wasn't sure what to do)

<summary>Answer

몰라

→ 어떻게 할지 몰라서 의견을 듣고 싶었어요.

I. 한번 들어봐도 될까요? __ 에 대해 여쭤보고 싶었어요. (about my career path)

<summary>Answer

진로

→ 진로에 대해 여쭤보고 싶었어요.

J. 고민이 있는데... 오래 __ 생각하고 있었어요. (been thinking alone)

<summary>Answer

혼자

→ 오래 혼자 생각하고 있었어요.

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Sentence Starters

Starter	Follow With
고민이 있는데...	What the worry is about
어떻게 하면 좋을까요?	Situation description
솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?	The specific question
어떻게 할지 모르겠어요	Context / request for help
한번 들어봐도 될까요?	Brief summary of the issue

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Production Tip

After using your opening expression, always add enough context for the other person to help you. 고민이 있는데... alone is a signal — you need to follow it with what the 고민 is. Practice: 고민이 있는데... + [the situation in 1–2 sentences]. That's the natural Korean advice-seeking flow.

Exercise 4 — Dialogue Completion

Fill in the blank with the most natural expression from this lesson.

You: __ 잠깐 시간 있어요? 고민이 있어서요. (Could I ask you something?)

Friend: 당연하죠! 무슨 일이에요?

<summary>Answer

한번 들어봐도 될까요?

(Could I have you hear me out? Do you have a moment? I have something on my mind.)

You: 요즘 직장을 바꿀지 말지 __. 어떻게 생각해요? (I don't know what to do)

Friend: 음, 쉬운 결정은 아니죠.

<summary>Answer

어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

(I don't know what to do. What do you think?)

You: __ 요즘 일이 너무 많아서 지쳐요. (I have something on my mind...)

Friend: 많이 힘들겠다. 얘기해봐.

<summary>Answer

고민이 있는데...

(I have something on my mind... I've been exhausted with so much work lately.)

You: 제 발표 어땠어요? __? (Honestly, what do you think?)

Friend: 솔직히요? 조금 더 연습하면 더 좋을 것 같아요.

<summary>Answer

솔직히 어떻게 생각해요

(Honestly, what do you think?)

You: 이번 주말에 친구한테 먼저 연락해야 할지... __. (What would be best to do?)

Friend: 먼저 연락하는 게 좋을 것 같아요.

<summary>Answer

어떻게 하면 좋을까요?

(What would be best to do?)

You: 선생님, __ 진로에 대해 여쭤봐도 될까요? (Could I ask you something?)

Teacher: 네, 물론이죠. 앉으세요.

<summary>Answer

한번 들어봐도 될까요?

(Could I ask you something? May I ask about my career path?)

Friend: 요즘 어때요?

You: __. 이사를 해야 할지 말지 결정을 못 하고 있어요. (I don't know what to do)

<summary>Answer

어떻게 할지 모르겠어요.

(I don't know what to do. I can't decide whether I should move or not.)

You: 있잖아, __... 요즘 사람들이랑 있을 때 불편한 것 같아서. (I have something on my mind)

Friend: 무슨 일이야? 얘기해봐.

<summary>Answer

고민이 있는데

(I have something on my mind... I've been feeling uncomfortable around people lately.)

You: 이 결정에 대해 __? 제가 잘 판단하는 건지 모르겠어요. (Honestly, what do you think?)

Friend: 솔직히 말하면... 좀 더 신중하게 생각해보는 게 좋을 것 같아요.

<summary>Answer

솔직히 어떻게 생각해요

(Honestly, what do you think? I'm not sure if I'm judging this well.)

You: 지금 많이 지쳐있는데... __ 요? 잠깐만요. (What would be best to do?)

Friend: 당연하죠. 어떻게 됐어요?

<summary>Answer

어떻게 하면 좋을까

(I'm really exhausted right now... what would be best to do?)

📚

Useful Phrases

Korean	English
당연하죠!	Of course!
무슨 일이에요?	What's going on?
쉬운 결정이 아니다	not an easy decision
신중하게	carefully, thoughtfully
판단하다	to judge, to assess
이사하다	to move (to a new place)
있잖아	hey / you know (casual opener)

💡

Conversation Tip

When someone shares their 고민 with you, the best first response is never advice — it's presence. 많이 힘들겠다 (that must be really hard) or 그랬구나 (oh, so that happened) shows you're listening. Only after they feel heard should you offer advice — or wait to be asked. This is true in any language, but especially in Korean.

Exercise 5 — Free Speaking Practice

Use the expressions from this lesson to open a conversation asking for advice on each topic.

A. You're not sure whether to stay in your current city or move somewhere new. Open the conversation with a friend.

Starter: 고민이 있는데... 지금 사는 곳에 계속 있어야 할지...

B. You want to know if your friend thinks you've been improving at Korean.

Starter: 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제 한국어가...

C. You have a major decision to make at work and feel stuck.

Starter: 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요. 업무 관련해서...

D. You want to ask a mentor for advice about your next career step.

Starter: 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 진로에 대해서...

E. You're not sure if you should apologize to a colleague first or wait.

Starter: 어떻게 하면 좋을까요? 동료한테 먼저 사과해야 할지...

F. You're feeling overwhelmed and want to open up to a close friend.

Starter: 있잖아, 요즘 고민이 있는데... 많이 힘들어서...

G. You want to know if your decision to turn down a job offer was right.

Starter: 솔직히 어떻게 생각해요? 제가 그 제안을 거절한 게...

H. You feel lost about whether to continue studying or start working.

Starter: 어떻게 할지 모르겠어요. 계속 공부해야 할지, 일을 시작해야 할지...

I. You want to consult a colleague about how to handle a difficult team member.

Starter: 한번 들어봐도 될까요? 팀원 관련해서 어떻게 하면 좋을지...

J. You're unsure about a big lifestyle change you're considering.

Starter: 고민이 있는데... 생활 방식을 완전히 바꿀지 고민 중이에요...

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Sentence Starters

Expression	Use When
고민이 있는데...	Soft personal opening
어떻게 하면 좋을까요?	Asking for direct guidance
솔직히 어떻게 생각해요?	Asking for honest opinion
어떻게 할지 모르겠어요	Expressing feeling lost
한번 들어봐도 될까요?	Checking before opening up

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Speaking Challenge

Make each answer a full 3-part exchange: [Opening expression] + [Describe the situation in 1–2 sentences] + [Specific question]. Example: 고민이 있는데요. 지금 다니는 회사에서 계속 일해야 할지 모르겠어요. 솔직히 어떻게 생각하세요? This is how real Korean 고민 상담 conversations begin.

고민을 나누는 것도 용기가 필요해요 — 오늘 배운 표현으로 솔직하게 마음을 열어보세요! 🤔✨